Found a text file at work titled "Why should I quit my job and become a goat farmer? (written during my "on-call" week)"
* You don't have to monitor the utilization on a goat.
* Milk a goat and the goat stays milked for a while.
* There are no 32-bit goats.
* You don't have to do a demo on a goat. And if you ever do, the goat will do what it's supposed to do and there's not a lot that can keep it from doing it.
* When a goat goes "down", you just bury it and buy a new goat.
* Left alone, Billy goats and Nanny goats do what they're supposed to do. You don't need to format them, monitor them, be on-call for them, step, trace or inspect registers.
* Nobody cares if you're not a Certified Goat Engineer yet.
* Kill a goat to make a goat steak, and the goat stays dead.
* Most people will take advice from a goat farmer on how to paint a fence, cook a steak, fix a tractor, etc. but most people somehow just don't want to hear it from a computer weenie.
* Nobody can lie in a job interview about their goat experience.
* Goats don't page you.
* When it comes to "software" (food), EVERYTHING is compatible with a goat.
* You don't need to buy a "goat 98" to fix all the bugs in your goat 95
* You can tell whether a goat has been "debugged" by looking at it.
* Goats don't become obsolete. If they do, as long as you didn't neuter them, they make the necessary upgrades themselves.
* No commute.
* Goats are kind of cute. Computers aren't cute unless they're Macintoshes, and those are just plain annoying.
* No dress code. Of any kind. EVER.
* You always have the right "file permissions" to milk a goat.
* If a goat gives too many timeout errors, or does not avail you resources for your session, or if performance is generally slow for your applications on your goat, it just means you're having goat steak for dinner.
* You don't need to visit "shareware dot com" to get some tools to milk a goat. You either have your bucket or you don't.
* The bucket leaks, or it doesn't. You do not need to ask a network if you're still the owner of the bucket. You do not need to run a bucket compare against a copy you made of the bucket previously You couldn't care less about the checksum of the bucket.
* You don't need to "free up some megs" before you milk a goat.
* You get callouses on your hands - the way God intended!
* You don't need to call a staff meeting to make sure everyone's milking goats the same way.
* Nanny goats, with no TCP/IP stack loaded, and no DLC, still give milk.
* Just about any barnyard animal is fault tolerant (except some cows).
* You don't need to sign in with the front desk if you need to milk a goat on a weekend. You don't need to use a badge to open a front gate. If you find an empty coffee pot burning on the machine on a Saturday, you just yell at your wife.
* You don't need to worry if you've been spending a lot of time milking what you will later find out to have been an improperly labelled "development goat".
* There is no such thing as a "preferred goat," and your "goat context" is always correct. Passwords do not exist and your milking/slaughtering account will never be disabled because of intruder detection.
* Carpal tunnel is guaranteed. Don't worry about it.
* A goat has all the "patches" it will ever need. If it doesn't it just means you're having goat steak for dinner.
* Goats that become full do an automatic "core dump" but they take care of getting themselves reset and on-line. You just have to clean up. You do not need to worry about defragmenting or compressing the goat. The goat does not have to be zipped, archived or converted to Goat-32.
* As long as the stable hasn't caught fire, a goat couldn't care less about a power surge.
* Goats don't have to be backed up at night.
* Each and every one of the parts of a goat use the same interrupt, and the goat works just fine anyway.
* A goat is a goat is a goat.
* You don't EVER restart a goat. You do shut them down sometimes and it's the first step in many of your recipes.
* You don't have to monitor the utilization on a goat.
* Milk a goat and the goat stays milked for a while.
* There are no 32-bit goats.
* You don't have to do a demo on a goat. And if you ever do, the goat will do what it's supposed to do and there's not a lot that can keep it from doing it.
* When a goat goes "down", you just bury it and buy a new goat.
* Left alone, Billy goats and Nanny goats do what they're supposed to do. You don't need to format them, monitor them, be on-call for them, step, trace or inspect registers.
* Nobody cares if you're not a Certified Goat Engineer yet.
* Kill a goat to make a goat steak, and the goat stays dead.
* Most people will take advice from a goat farmer on how to paint a fence, cook a steak, fix a tractor, etc. but most people somehow just don't want to hear it from a computer weenie.
* Nobody can lie in a job interview about their goat experience.
* Goats don't page you.
* When it comes to "software" (food), EVERYTHING is compatible with a goat.
* You don't need to buy a "goat 98" to fix all the bugs in your goat 95
* You can tell whether a goat has been "debugged" by looking at it.
* Goats don't become obsolete. If they do, as long as you didn't neuter them, they make the necessary upgrades themselves.
* No commute.
* Goats are kind of cute. Computers aren't cute unless they're Macintoshes, and those are just plain annoying.
* No dress code. Of any kind. EVER.
* You always have the right "file permissions" to milk a goat.
* If a goat gives too many timeout errors, or does not avail you resources for your session, or if performance is generally slow for your applications on your goat, it just means you're having goat steak for dinner.
* You don't need to visit "shareware dot com" to get some tools to milk a goat. You either have your bucket or you don't.
* The bucket leaks, or it doesn't. You do not need to ask a network if you're still the owner of the bucket. You do not need to run a bucket compare against a copy you made of the bucket previously You couldn't care less about the checksum of the bucket.
* You don't need to "free up some megs" before you milk a goat.
* You get callouses on your hands - the way God intended!
* You don't need to call a staff meeting to make sure everyone's milking goats the same way.
* Nanny goats, with no TCP/IP stack loaded, and no DLC, still give milk.
* Just about any barnyard animal is fault tolerant (except some cows).
* You don't need to sign in with the front desk if you need to milk a goat on a weekend. You don't need to use a badge to open a front gate. If you find an empty coffee pot burning on the machine on a Saturday, you just yell at your wife.
* You don't need to worry if you've been spending a lot of time milking what you will later find out to have been an improperly labelled "development goat".
* There is no such thing as a "preferred goat," and your "goat context" is always correct. Passwords do not exist and your milking/slaughtering account will never be disabled because of intruder detection.
* Carpal tunnel is guaranteed. Don't worry about it.
* A goat has all the "patches" it will ever need. If it doesn't it just means you're having goat steak for dinner.
* Goats that become full do an automatic "core dump" but they take care of getting themselves reset and on-line. You just have to clean up. You do not need to worry about defragmenting or compressing the goat. The goat does not have to be zipped, archived or converted to Goat-32.
* As long as the stable hasn't caught fire, a goat couldn't care less about a power surge.
* Goats don't have to be backed up at night.
* Each and every one of the parts of a goat use the same interrupt, and the goat works just fine anyway.
* A goat is a goat is a goat.
* You don't EVER restart a goat. You do shut them down sometimes and it's the first step in many of your recipes.