Salvation

ah susah itu mah. fi aja mau gak?

👀 Sastralova the little fairy εїз (@iDejavuh) read the message

dafugh

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝕿he 𝕺cean 𝖄ou

ㅤㅤevery time you think you are broken,ㅤ
ㅤknow this: you are never really breaking.ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ no one can break an ocean.ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ darling, all you are doing,ㅤ
ㅤis breaking the glass that holding you back,ㅤ
ㅤㅤ diving deeper into your own depths,ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ discovering yourself in pocketsㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ of the most somber waves,ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ rebuilding your heart with coral,ㅤ
ㅤㅤwith seaweed, moon coloured sand dust.ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ so stop trying to hold yourselfㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤback inside that glass.ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ it was never meant to hold you.ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ instead of break it,ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ shatter it into a thousand pieces...ㅤ
ㅤbecome who you were always meant to be,ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ an ocean, proud and wholeㅤ

for i am death, the personification of pure lıʌǝ,
the grand godfather, of legions of unnumbered generations. behold thy disciples, baptized beneath my crimson waters, of bl𝕺𝕺d.
then reanimated...

ㅤ
ㅤ (in Greek and Roman poetry)
ㅤ a poem written in elegiac
ㅤ couplets, as notably by
ㅤ Catullus and Propertius.

my shoes were growing more powerful with each day. i walked in the country of letters, its fields of eyes belonging to my lost sister—
dark ǝyes that early closed, or forgot to open. i have not been back in some time, though often i walk to my office, daydreaming of that country’s fashions, the clothes of its citizens like the clothes of my dearest dead or unborn.

in the heaven of letters, i will not walk. i will not strip the golden clothes from my 𝕷over, the wheat, i will stand. stay with the trees before me, their ancient charisma that cares for me.

like all scholars in any sort of heaven, i will study the metaphysics of madness. i will find that the littler the light, the better it tastes.

On Earth lately, I’ve been looking at everyone like I love them, & maybe I do. Or maybe I only love one person, & I’m beaming from it. Or actually I just love myself, & I want people to know. it seems the dead are busy with work we cannot comprehend. & like parents, they don’t want to tell you what their jobs really consist of, how much they make. they don’t want to scare you, the dead. With what’s left of their ankles, with their new secret wishes.

A-MUSED; “Tired" taken from The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes, edited by Arnold Rampersand and David Roessel (NY: Random House, 1995), p. 135. Hughes wrote it in the 1930s.

(Cockayne 1864-6: II: 50) if a worm eats teeth, take old holly rind and root of carline thistle, heat them and keep them in your mouth as hot as you could

i am so tired of waiting. aren't you, for the world to become good, beautiful and kind¿ let us take a ᵏnife and cut the world in two— and see what worms are eating at the rind.

i too am tired of waiting sometimes, 𝕷osing my cool and my patience, 𝕮hoked by 𝖋loods of 𝖇ad 𝖓ews of 𝖛iolence, 𝖜ar, and stories of disrespect.  it's perhaps time to wake up once again and notice which worms are eating at the rind.  
i found myself asking: am I worm or rind? Are you worm or rind¿

NABOKV-L POST 0004446, TUE, 5 OCT 1999 08:18:18 -0700

a second "nostalgia" from Donald Barton Johnson on Tue, 10/05/1999 - 11:18. not the one you're looking for, but an interesting alternative statement on this topic appears in Strong Opinions, p. 149. asked whether he finds

"nostalgia debilitating or enriching," Nabokov replied, "Neither. it's one of a thousand tender emotions."

ㅤ Vladimir Nabokov
ㅤ Interview to BBC-2, 1969

the phenomenon of nostalgia is complex and fascinating. Although the term is usually used for the particular shade of immigrant homesickness, for the desire to return to one's home country, it can also be applied to our common longing for "the old times," for the flavor of jam that our grandmother used to make or for the song that they used to play on the radio twenty years ago. despite its widespread character, nostalgia is not well-studied. the neurobiology of memory and emotion is still in its infancy, and nostalgia is, perhaps, much too complex to consider meaningfully at this time. yet it seems the current understandings of emotion and memory can be applied to it. in this paper, i will attempt to do so by trying to unpack my own experiences of and with nostalgia in light of contemporary neurobiological research. naturally, this is a laywoman's attempt and bound to be wrong as such, but i think it will help me understand something about myself that, until now, i have taken for granted.