If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous,
Would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because,
Everything I touch isn't dark enough
If this problem lies in me
I'm only a man with a chamber who's got me,
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.
A monster, a monster,
I've turned into a monster,
A monster, a monster,
And it keeps getting stronger.
You know what’s funny about life?
Because it lacks rationality, doesn’t knock at your door, walks in uninvited when you least expect it,and gives you such a hard blow that everything you’ve ever accomplished becomes insignificant in a jiffy.
To begin with, you’ve not been bestowed with a life on a golden cot like most lucky people. So you accept life as it is on a platter, close your eyes, and dream of turning it top side down by the time you kick the bucket. You work your ass off, dodge your inner demons, keep the light burning, take the bullets-of-failure on your chest, keep your head held high even at times of peril and move forward. And one fine day, life decides to shower you its grace and you start building your own empire. One majestic admirable kingdom of knowledge and wealth.
One brick at a time. You start seeing a ray of hope, because things aren’t as rough as it once used to be. You feel the magic pushing you ahead and giving you an invisible arm of support. You start creating an impact on the people around you, make wise life choices, and after a few years, you establish yourself as the king of the empire you’ve built by squeezing every drop of your blood and grit. Life in turn, gets even more impressed and showers you with more glory.
You’re set. You’re not the regular, average, “one among the crowd” specimen anymore. You’ve achieved everything you’ve ever dreamt of, you’ve travelled places, married the girl you loved, started a beautiful family, created a social impact, managed to grab a respectable place in a few hearts, but even after all that, there’s a void inside you. An unexplainable vacuum which pesters you with a feeble voice and drags you down for no apparent reason.
You don’t pay heed to it and focus on ruling your empire. After all, the king cannot succumb to the voices in the head, right? So you keep a strong face, hide the monster knocking inside of you, keep it chained,and hope that it would perish with time. You indulge yourself in activities with the people who love you more than you expect, you make them smile, share your wisdom of life, and in the deepest corner, you simply wish that all these would dampen that voice of the inner vampire. You struggle hard to find the reason, but there is none.
With time,slowly it starts dawning upon you. You’re reaching your end. You look back at life and wonder how a mere mortal like you who had no initial hopes of growing into a giant in the land of billions, made it to the epitome of pride and perfection. You smile at yourself, but you also know that you’re not gonna last any longer. You have your own share of emotional trauma that has been building inside of you, like a parasite eating you one cell at a time. You’ve been fighting it for decades now, unknown to the outside world, masking it all with a radiant face and an exuberance that gave hope to the ones who looked up at you.
And one fine day, you snap. Your ever burning light inside fades, and darkness takes over.
You give up.
All that empire you had built starts crumbling down around you, and it seems insignificant and hollow at that very moment. Life makes a complete circle. And that is when you realize, it wasn’t a parasite, it was death, spreading its arms wide open for you.