She was a mess, and out of sight he came into her life, and suddenly life made sense. She felt alive and happy for the first time in a long time, and she just wanted to live for him. He wasn't perfect of course but he was all she ever wanted, all what she needed, someone who really gets her. He fell in love with her thoughts, her weird thoughts and personality, he loved her the way she wanted to be loved, the one who treated her right and knew what she deserves. He became her shelter, her peace, her entire galaxy, her family, her everything!
Being with him made her realize three things: one, that home is not a place, but a feeling. Two, that time is not measured by a clock, but by moments. And three, that heartbeats are not heard, but felt and shared.
She loved him with all her heart and feelings. She wanted to be the one who makes sure he never feel alone or lonely or unwanted or unloved. She wanted to be there for the good and bad. She was insanely in love with him, that it terrified her what she would do for him.
And suddenly at some point, she woke up! Was it all a dream? No but she realized that it all was a mistake, her life is miserable, she got a lot of troubles, she was literally drowning in her sadness, grief, tears and problems, and she wouldn't want to see him hit the ground, she wouldn't want to let him suffer with her, she knew that she wasn't the best for him, he deserves to be with someone better. So, she had to leave, and so she did. She acted rude and said bad things, it was really terrible, yet it was the only way to push him away and make him hate her.
Now it’s all done, and although she was sure this was the best for them, she can’t help but feel devastated. It seemed as if she has lost all her will to do things and she just wanted to stay in bed forever or be with that person again. This craving made her doubt everything. She was trapped in her thoughts, and melancholy seemed to guide all her decisions.
*She wrote this with tears rolling down her face*
