Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin my tale - Jack is sent by his mother to sell a COW because the family are so poor; but on the way to the market he meets a stranger who offers him a packet of Magic Beans for the cow. When he gets back his mother is furious and 'kicks his ass', so Jack throws the Magic Beans out onto the garden. The next morning Jack sees that the beans have grown into a huge beanstalk, reaching up to the sky, so he begins to climb up the beanstalk. At the top he comes across an Ogre who guards a Golden Hen laying Golden Eggs, which Jack steals from the Ogre, escaping down the beanstalk again. He climbs the beanstalk again, this time stealing the Golden Coins, and a third time, stealing the Golden Harp that plays by itself. But on the third occasion the Ogre appears, and Jack is hidden in the oven by the Ogre's wife. The Ogre exclaims - "FE-FI-FO-FUM, I smell the Blood of an Englishman, be he alive or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread".