Telegram-канал "Sickipedia" — @Sickipedia

Sickipedia

1 Mar, 18:01

When I was in college, I used to clean my roommate’s room, and he used to clean mine.
We were maid for each other.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

576 0 6 24

I took an elevator up to the eleventh floor for a meeting. As I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son."
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head, "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

After my meeting, I got back on the elevator to go back down, and the same operator was there. I said nothing to him, but when we got to the ground floor, he said to me, "I'm sorry."

"Because you thought you were my dad?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, son, because I let you down."

#wordplay@Sickipedia

756 0 7 27

Sickipedia

1 Mar, 09:01

Judge says "Before I pass sentence, is there any statement the guilty party wishes to make?"
"Fuck all," grunts the villain.

"What was that?" asks the judge.

Counsel for the defence: "My client said 'fuck all', my lord"

"No, he certainly said something," says the judge, "I saw his lips move."

#wordplay@Sickipedia

835 0 4 26

Sickipedia

28 Feb, 21:01

What did the dad reply to the mom who said "I've had enough, I'm selling my kid on eBay"?
"Don't be silly. You made him, so sell him on Etsy."

#other@Sickipedia

923 0 8 23

Sickipedia

28 Feb, 21:01

Did you hear about the girl who ate only plants?
You probably never heard of herbivore.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

898 0 3 24

Sickipedia

28 Feb, 21:01

Wife just phoned her husband and the conversation went like this:-

Wife: "You know that Gladiator movie that I got you?"

Husband: "Yeah."

Wife: "Well, wind it forward one hour, 16 mins and 28 seconds."

Husband: "Right... I've done that"...

Wife: "OK, you see the Gladiator at the front fighting the Lion?"

Husband: "I can see that, yeah."

Wife: "OK, well, just behind him, there are two Gladiators having a sword fight with each other".

Husband: "Okay, yeah, I see them."

Wife: "Well, behind those two, on the left hand side of the screen, there's a Gladiator holding a spear".

Husband: "Yes...! I can see him"..

Wife: "Right..!...

Those are the Sandals I want for my Birthday"

#other@Sickipedia

916 0 4 19

Sickipedia

27 Feb, 21:01

I asked the bus driver "How long will the next bus be?"
He replied "Same length as this one."

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1.1k 0 9 32

Sickipedia

27 Feb, 21:01

My daughter saw that I only had ham and turkey on my Thanksgiving plate. "Which one do you like more?" she asked me.
"Hm, I'm not sure. I don't usually pick sides."

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1k 0 2 20

Sickipedia

27 Feb, 21:01

I was taken off a plane in handcuffs and put on a no-fly list.
All I did was greet my friend Jack.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1.1k 0 9 34

Sickipedia

26 Feb, 19:01

Men are like a good hardwood floor. If you lay them really well,
you can walk on them for 40 years.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1.3k 0 10 39

Sickipedia

26 Feb, 15:01

My wife told me if I turned out the light, I could put it in her butt.
I probably should have waited for the bulb to cool...

#sexandshit@Sickipedia

1.5k 1 12 40

Sickipedia

26 Feb, 11:01

My son was scared to tell me he failed his history exam.
I said don’t worry it’s all in the past.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1.4k 0 13 29

Sickipedia

25 Feb, 19:01

What's the best slogan for a Urologist's Office?
Urine. Good Hands.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1.7k 0 14 26

Sickipedia

25 Feb, 15:01

My wife asked, "Why don't you treat me like you did when we first met?" So, I took her to dinner and a movie.
Then I dropped her off at her parents.

#oldbutgold@Sickipedia

1.8k 0 17 46

Sickipedia

25 Feb, 10:01

How does a cheerleader turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door

#sexandshit@Sickipedia

1.8k 0 4 31

Sickipedia

24 Feb, 19:01

My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She's a 10, but imaginary.

#oldbutgold@Sickipedia

1.9k 0 7 32

Sickipedia

24 Feb, 15:01

My wife believes in same sex marriage
Yeah, we’ve had the same sex for the last 20 years

#wordplay@Sickipedia

1.9k 0 11 31

Sickipedia

24 Feb, 10:01

A women was arrested for laughing like a man.
she was charged with manslaughter.

#wordplay@Sickipedia

2k 0 16 41

Sickipedia

23 Feb, 19:01

A lot of women say their husbands never listen to them.
I'm proud to say i've never heard my wife say something like that.

#other@Sickipedia

2.2k 1 16 41

Sickipedia

23 Feb, 14:01

I just found my first grey pubic hair today
Just wish it wasn’t in my coffee I got from McDonald’s

#other@Sickipedia

1.9k 0 8 35

Гениальные трюки бизнеса

Solo - путешествие!

TGStat - аналитика каналов и чатов

Sickipedia

Гео и язык канала

Категория

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

Sickipedia

13 429

Популярное в канале

Язык сайта

Гениальные трюки бизнеса

Solo - путешествие!

TGStat - аналитика каналов и чатов

Sickipedia

Гео и язык канала

Категория

13 429

Популярное в канале