d somewhat intimidated, at the same time he was not going to back down from his position thinking that it worked as it should. Yeah thats a very right sing to say for a person beign pinned down under a fucking warrior.

Kai: "Not learned a damn lesson hornboy? Hey, did you know that your back entrance is welcoming like a Baldur's Gate?

*At this moment, the bad boi starting to feel a warm breath behind head. Kai leans to his ear and says in deep silent voice.*

Kai: "Mind if i seal it with my dragonlance?"

This was so absurd and unusual at the same time that girls started laughing. You know, last time when i did male voice that perfect was me drinking 2 bottles of vodka. At this moment i understood what that strange feeling was coming from. You know, as as a writer you had to start somewhere - some people write fairy tales, some write fanfiction, and 8 years ago i was writing about some boys hanging together. Yeah, i was That kind of Girl, and this story was begging for main character. Bad Boy continued shittalkintg with Kai but now he seemed more and more woried about what comming next.

Bad Boi: "You can not do this to me, gods will screw all over. They will send you to hell you fucking faggot."

Kai: "Cant argue with that hornboy. What i'm about to do has not been approved by the Bahamut. By the way do you know that one thing i was expecting to hear in your beutyfull speeches?"

Bad Boi: "No?"

Kai: "Exactly."

It was that moment that bad boi knew. He fucked up. Due to his state, that guy could not see what was happening behind him. There was only a series of strange creaks after which he felt a strange sensation in his lower back.

**Roll constitution save**

**You failed. Your natural armor got penetrated. Roll piercing damage...**

That look. I ve never seen a man with that kind of face. It was like if he seen a swarm of Tarasques by himself. He was staring at me like a young child, i think he got PTSD after that. Good. Maybe i should run Call of Ctuluhu someday? Anyway, evereything fades to black... I describe the party waking up and moving to the blacksmith daughter's house due to painfuly familiar screams. When they get to the place they see a naked body beign thrown out of the window, luckely landing onto cart with a stockpile. Let us say dude was quite fine, besides the huge pole sticking out of his ass.

Unfortunately, no one in the party possessed the skills of a carpenter,and therefore their visit to the local medics was quite funny. They never thought it was possible for a person to slip on the floor in a way where they could "land" on their own spear during a bath. At least bad boi was very lucky at charisma throws.

Epilogue: A few days later. With a help of large amount of olive oil and some wasted gold, a foreign object was sucsessfully removed from a private place. The player never threw that kind of shit again and even helped me with the campaign behaved like a good boi. Despite his wild fear of reptilian races, I think he will be okay. The party returned the spear to its owner, although his joy from this event was very strained. What bout me? Well, I just was kinda ashamed of what i did to the guy besides evereyobody got their fun. Maybe i should not been so hard on him. Anyway, I did what i always do in such cases. I drink some beer, turned on Victor Tsoi, and smoked a cigar. Im ussualy against smoking anything but every rule has its exeption.

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