sometimes yes, i'm happy. when i’'m with my friends, throwing my head back and covering my mouth as cry from laughter at a joke someone made, or my friends doing something absolutely stupid. but day always turns to night. and my carefree smile and laugh turns into an unexplainable sadness. i lay in bed, thinking about everything i wish i could say, all the things i'm too afraid to admit even to myself. i think about everything wrong with my life when i'm not distracted by what’s around me. i think about the constant over lapping family
problems. the people i've lost. the small amount of people i have left. how everything good that happens never works out. nights like this i realize, i'm happy and sad. outgoing and shy. annoying but caring. but mostly, at this point. i'm empty.