FUN TIME ?

Everything I Need

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55

mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at

him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years,

but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60

mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of

it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend,

and he's a much better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his

anger increases.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up,

and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids, too."

The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's

up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the

credit cards, too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward

a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything

you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph,

"I've got the airbag!"
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Money Above Life

Akpos had a serious accident with his brand new car. A police officer nearby ran to the scene to help them out."This man's car just hit my car! That car is worth Six million Cedis! Now,my car is a total write-off!"The police officer shook his head in amazement and said "You are so materialistic.You didn't even realize that your hand had been cut off". Akpos looked at his bloody arm and screamed "OH MY GOD!!! Where is my gold wristwatch, and my ring!!?"
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Names Of Animals

Teacher enters into a class, "Who can give me a name of an animal that starts with the letter L?"Joy stood up and said, "Lion." The teacher said, "That's good! Who can also give me a name of an animal that starts with the letter A?" Akpos stood up and said, "A lion." The teacher angrily said, "Get out of my class!" As Akpos was walking out of the class, the teacher asked again, "Who can give me a name of an animal that starts with the letter M?" Akpos answered again, "Maybe a lion."
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and calls for an ambulance. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead." There’s a silence, then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says "OK, now what?"

A bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing two hikers. They both start running for their lives, but then one of them stops to put on his running shoes.

His friends says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear; I only have to outrun you!"

​IT'S HARD TO BE A TEACHER AT TIMES​

​Teacher:​ ''Construct a sentence using the word "Sugar''
​Pupil:​ ''I drank tea this morning.''
​Teacher:​ ''Where is the word sugar.''
​Pupil:​ ''It is already in the tea..!!''

🤣🤣🤷🏻‍♂🤣🤣

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped in the Atlantic ocean it turned into the Atlantic dessert

#Akpors walked into class with black eye. The Teacher asked,"What happened?" Akpors replied, "My house is very small. Me, my mum and my dad sleep on the same bed. Yesterday night, my dad asked; 'Akpors are you sleeping?' I said no and he slaps my face and gives me a black eye."
The Teacher then said, "Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer." The following morning, Akpors comes again to school with a severe black eye. The Teacher exclaimed, "Oh my God! Akpors why the black eye again?" Akpors said, "Last night my dad asked me again, Akpors are you sleeping. I didn't answer. I just kept dead quiet. Then my dad and my mum started moving. At the same time mum was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a hyena on the bed. Then my dad asked my mum; 'Are you coming?' My Mum said; 'Yes! I'm coming. Are you coming too?' My Dad answered; 'Yes.' They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, wait for me, I'm also coming!"
🤣🤣🤣😂😂

A Girl Was Passing By,and Saw Her Boyfriend Standing By The A.T.M Machine. She Immediately Hide and Sent-' A Romantic Text To Him"Honey If U Are Sleeping Right Now, Send Me Ur Dream.If U Ar Laughing Send Me Ur Laughter.If U Ar Eating,send Me Some Food.If U Ar Withdrawing From D A.T.M,send Me Some Money.Her Boyfriend Replies;i'm In The Toilet Wat Should I Send?😀😀😀😀

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:
1. Bride's relatives
2. Groom's relatives
He entered the groom's door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men
He entered the men's door and found two doors again.
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.

Ok 👍

It was like....you know how tom hates jerry ..yeah that hate thing between them.hmmm then like an incident happened then tom died....so like in every cartoon anyone that dies goes to heaven to check his or her good deeds register...every one went to check his and hers and they all went to heaven because their register is full of good deeds....it was Tom's turn...but he wanted to dodge and go to heaven straight but was caught and told to wait untill his register has been checked😂😂...his was full of bad deeds
So the spirit checking the thing told tom that the only way to enter heaven was to let jerry sign against a paper he'll give to him
Tom nodded and his spirit entered back to his dead body...he thought it was a dream but later he saw the paper given to him by the spirit man....he then rushed to jerry's home...you see the small hole😂😂...with plenty goodies ...jerry was like thank you and he ate all the goodies and run away...the thing too the endline was 12:00 and it was 10:09 there😂😂...jerry made it difficult for him and later tom decided to sign it himself...he went and hid himself somewhere to sign then the spirit man appeared...and said "jerry is supposed to sign it"...so like he went to jerry's place feeling very sad and terrified...this made jerry think of something bad...he held the paper and tore them into bits😂..herhhh what would tom do😂😂...he'll go to hell😂😂😂...he tried to fix it but it was too late..so tom was sent to hell were he was tortured by that bull dog...
Suddenly tom woke up and it was all a dream...come and see the kisses Jerry was receiving😂😂..I wished it was me😂❤️

😂🤣...some bro and a girl were doing somethings in the room for some hours then suddenly the guy's father came to meet them and they quickly stopped....in a surprised,looking okay with it and smiling at the boy...asked where are my keys ...and the boy said it was in the room...but the boy was shocked his father didn't do anything...but he had this thought that by all means his father would mess him up🔥...so his father said to them "continue the good work " and he went away..later the boy told the girl to hurry and go home...and the girl asked "but your father is cool so let's continue" and the boy said I know my father so hurry and go
After this event😂...it was 12:00am the guy wasn't still asleep...3:30am and the boy went to check whether his father was asleep but by the Lord's grace he was and feeling relieved he went to sleep with no worries...at 6:30am his father came to check on him...he saw the boy asleep and run to take his belt and cup full of cold water...he entered the boy's room
Come and see beatings as if the boy has stolen money from the market😂😂😂😂

There were three men going on a trip and on their way they had to pass a black forest and the rule there was that no-one should say black or they would die so as the three men entered one said "This place is black o" and he died the second man said "aye this man said black and he died" and he died the third man said "me I won't say black o" and he died 😂😂

There were three hungry men who got lost in the forest.....they searched for food for 2days untill they found food under a tree....they ate all and they were satisfied ready to find their way out of the forest...but on their way back...a spirit like a humanbeing just appeared infront of them...and told them it was his food they ate now they'll have to pay back by doing this simple task...
THE RULES ARE...(1)DON'T LAUGH
(2)IF THEY DON'T DO IT THEY'LL BE KILLED
So the task was they should go and bring three of the same fruit they find..
The first got guava
The second grapes
The third still looking for it
Since two of them have brought yours...says the spirit man...swallow it
They nodded ...
The first did and got chocked and died
But for the second as he was about to swallow...he started laughing
And the spirit man asked why are you laughing...
And the second man said...because I saw the third man bringing three watermelons😂😂😂💔

Yo mama is so stupid she went to climb Mountain Dew