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A topic I'm getting different points of view on is the cliche that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I'm wondering if, rather than self-love, perhaps self-understanding is a more useful goal. Where do you stand on this?
I'd place the emphasis on self-understanding too, and the capacity to communicate it. If somebody said, 'I don't adore myself, but I'm interested in myself and I can communicate the truth about myself to other people,' that would be more reassuring than somebody who said, 'I'm perfect.' Acknowledging your brokenness, pain and insufficiency is a rather romantic thing to do. Actually, an overemphatic self-admiration cuts you off from other people, whereas an engagement with your own vulnerability is key to building a bond. When it comes to self-love it's not so much about loving yourself, but accepting that all human beings.
If you don't value or understand yourself, is there more risk you could lose yourself in a relationship?
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A topic I'm getting different points of view on is the cliche that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I'm wondering if, rather than self-love, perhaps self-understanding is a more useful goal. Where do you stand on this?
I'd place the emphasis on self-understanding too, and the capacity to communicate it. If somebody said, 'I don't adore myself, but I'm interested in myself and I can communicate the truth about myself to other people,' that would be more reassuring than somebody who said, 'I'm perfect.' Acknowledging your brokenness, pain and insufficiency is a rather romantic thing to do. Actually, an overemphatic self-admiration cuts you off from other people, whereas an engagement with your own vulnerability is key to building a bond. When it comes to self-love it's not so much about loving yourself, but accepting that all human beings.
If you don't value or understand yourself, is there more risk you could lose yourself in a relationship?
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