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Mourning place of the Dog, @WonbinPark.

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It seem to be the end of me, Mother. Hurry, murder me and let your grieves stained on my leash. It will be lingering forever and choking me and torturing me and forcing me to place the sacred canine teeth behind your sleep, though I told them I am no longer untamed. Tell nightmares I said BARK! I am the shadow growing under your rage. Therein from a mourning funeral and whistling cries, meet me in a graveyard, SIX FEET UNDER! You closed the curtain but I might decide to haunt our livingroom. Forget me and the day I was begging for you to stop—erase them, abominate me.


I shall be blamed for the hurting ears and blinding sights. Dilute me in your most graceless way, Oh so-called heavenly Mother, longest time I addressed torment as an Angel in coruscating white dress and it was throughout my breathing dreams. What should I bet over those bitterness your mouth had diffused on me? I couldn’t fathom the rough cut I have always been forced to dealt with—and more moulding scars from yesteryears are terrorising me by unaliving question.


GRIEVES LINGERED AROUND THE LEASH I WORE, HOW MANY YEARS DO I HAVE TO BE TORN?




Forward from: WRITERS OF FAITH.
Untuk Hidangan Penutup! Baudrillard Orbs.


Forward from: Boris Tjaldar. (Dispirited)
Izinkan aku merawatmu, ya? Aku hanya ingin kau tahu—bahwa kau tidak harus sendirian. Tidak hari ini. Tidak esok. Tidak selamanya.


OH, POOR DEER. THE DOG FOUND YOU ILL!
Hush down to read your sprawling mien—not to be always seen. Thought he was the misplaced lunch belonged to him, what is this helpless one doing out there? All his limped feet, running off might be his another way to stumble upon death. The Dog understood something; seemingly, the Deer wanted a meal, too. Would he be the prey or the one alone to stay? Flip your coin, bewilderment never grows a lie on their filthy soil wherein both of them found each other, bleeding while dragging legs. They won! Poor Deer was chosen, raw meat from a dead bird thrown at his front, he got terrified, “Eat it, you should be feeling full for two days ahead,” but he doesn’t know how to consume a flesh. His teeth aren’t strong enough to even chew on a grass so could you imagine how impossible it is for him to have them? Should he stay starving until Mother took him somewhere horrible in hell? Oh, God. The Dog munch their foods harsh at once then spit them out again for the Deer to EAT! He made it tender. So tender that it would go through your mouth and right away reaching down to your stomach. They were lost in mind, it has always been getting killed as a sinner or a pathetic useless being!




THE NAKED DOG AND THE TRAPPED LAMB
They’re living in a blurry breach between the wall of a neglected shelter and a crumbling house. The Dog left his last meal untouched, the Lamb walked away with nothing filled his mind. Escaped, vanished, nowhere to be found. But, what’s the matter with it? A blade might slash their tongue from a plead of unwanted being which shall never demand. Aren’t they supposed to be devoted and surrender? Death was the one whom they would be faithful for, his owner will remain unchanged without mourning, longing, nor grieving and his mother will seek over the better one with thicker, whiter, softer shearling. How would they live in a shadow of hurting hands? They have never been awaken, napping inside a bleeding permanent guilt. The Dog will bite everything. Dreary fallen dream—forgotten! Dumped! Awaken in deserted East! And the Lamb would knit a blanket to make them disappear. Too many sins being roped around his marred skin, decaying through a tight clinch of God’s willing. Blood on a whitebone fur but dogs put hatred on their leash, “He is rotten!” they said, naively.


Forward from: Boris Tjaldar. (Dispirited)


She barked, “THE DOG MUST’VE BEEN DEAD!” oh, am I too tough for you to handle, Mother? Or was it just because I am the grudge you wished to devastate? What else should I sacrifice more? You stole my canine teeth, left me eaten by parasite and bathed in blood. I was stranded on my last legs, as I step furthest away to death.


I was being told to destroy myself. If I couldn’t do it rough enough then you should. Every inch of me, raw and brutal. I am the mistake, I am the sin, I am her most disgusting piece of meat to exist. Don’t let me breathe, don’t pity me, be heartless or be the one who will die ashamed on God’s hand. Her gentle murder, carrying through every silence we walked into, I have warned you at the very least. MOTHER DOESN’T KNOW WHAT MERCY IS, AND SHALL NEVER FIGURE OUT. Bend lower, dig deeper, deeper, and deeper until you couldn’t see me down there. Then I was awaken to a dirt that keeps falling on my face, she buried me. Alive. With the door of my coffin opened. Humiliating me among the unreachable nighttide, fronting your bare eyes. You—and her—might think I laid down on death’s side but I do hear her curse. Her damned words. Her shout of rage. I let the leash around this neck being the judge, heft my doggoned sin; hang me or release me. Throw me along with the devil or place me on your devoted white bed. I am the one to betray.


“IF YOU’RE SO FULL OF LOVE, WHY DON’T YOU GIVE YOURSELF SOME?” but I have spared some for the same—or more—couple amount. A solid one forged by emotions, parted into two; for the love to keep and for the love to give. Half portion of a heart might be served erelong, there existed another separate plate being offered to the person sitting across my dining table. Not less than for someone who prepared it or anybody whom I think may be hungry and used to feed me back in the days. I shall never eat from your plate, it’s yours and so I already have mine. They understand nothing about learning how to maintain the shape of my gut, a manner as a yearner. Did I say offered? Oh, you should’ve known it so well... sounds ironic for any smallest bit of a heart to possibly ended up at someplace disregarded, so long as it went ahead to be decomposed.




We’re sitting under the same apple tree, I plucked one for you to nibble on before telling me I just unfurled a rotten leaf of longing where you used to eat them among the aborted sweet redamancy.


Forward from: TAMED DOG.
I didn’t know people never found any single color in me, not even a red. It’s always been dull, monotone, black and white, anything but a mention of color. “That poor little child, how miserable,” said them, staring at me in pity. Fragile one, whose feet so weak that they stood up in panic as I let out whispering hiss, thought I need something to hold onto before it collapses. Told me to not starve myself but I was too confused to even swallow the served dinner meal. Teeth bites an inch then my plate is empty, God, I couldn’t remember the last time I was eating without a thought in my head.


I sat on a chair and torn apart multiple sheets of paper from my desk, wiped out the bleeding wound on my arms. Surely enough, somehow I could feel her cut down to my bone, yet it was nothing compared to the way he tied a bandage around it for hundred times. And perhaps still counting.


He asked if I would close my eyes just a little while, to fear nothing as he guarded me behind that door. Then we agreed.


Nightmare unfolded itself beneath a single pillow I took asleep with. The knives were stabbing—breaking through every chance it has given. Again, I crawled as silent as I could to the wardrobe, hiding under those mounted up anger. They won’t see my figure in there. Please, save me. And they were gone, “It will get better soon,” he said, with his palm caressing worries out of my head. I was crying until tomorrow approached us, then until noon, a long mourning whisper I have ever heard hovering above my presence, sleepless, had me awaken for continuous weeks. Barely I could breathe, it was almost like something wanted the air to despise me.


Before I go to sleep, he would ask me to say a little prayer. That evening, when it sounds like someone banged their head against my locked door, infuriating, and I was curled up under the hanging clothes inside a wardrobe. Frighten pretended to be my favorite blanket trying to wrap me around its mistreat. One might be the never harsh-handed yet he never hesitates to break the fence or the door, putting me to sleep amidst comfort, despite of the shouting rage behind that window. The peace in between decease, which I wish to understand earlier. Never did I think there is a long roadway if I walked outside my room, never did I ever believe it too. How strange, don’t you think? Honest to you, I always believe I belong in the attic, burying more melancholic feelings by stargazing through that small hole in the wall and once any of them fell, I hope everyone would be kinder to me.

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