Journaling with Jesus, Thoughts Over Coffee
10/8/24
This started as me writing to him and turned into him writing to us.
It went as follows.
Although I have tried, I have not always been successful in doing my best.
I’ve experienced moments of weakness, procrastination, frustration and anger.
I’ve failed, too many times to live up to expectations and been too stubborn to stay within the acceptable parameters that those who loved me set.
I’ve been insulted, abused, wrongfully accused, and diminished, by people who felt my achievements highlighted their failures.
But, through all the triumphs and failures, actions and reactions, tests and lessons, I do know one thing about myself.
When given the opportunity to harm or to love, I have loved.
When given the opportunity to take or give, I have given.
When given the opportunity to understand or condemn, I listened and understood.
When I was tested, I remained faithful.
That is what I am proud of. This is what I know to be true about myself and my journey.
I am a gentle soul, with a large capacity to love, who has been strengthened by the times when I did not receive love in return. And by the times when I was punished for giving too much of it.
These are my strengths.
This is the heart of a humanitarian.
To lift others out of the water that you are drowning in.
Many of you understand.
Many have walked similar paths.
A heart grows weary after a while.
We must not let it harden us.
We must not let it turn us away from love itself, for fear of
Additional suffering.
That would be turning away from who you really are.
Listening to all the abusive voices of the past who say you are not worthy or deserving of the love and appreciation that you so freely gave.
It’s imprisoning yourself for fear of imprisonment.
We must never lose hope in a better tomorrow, even if all the world says it’s not possible.
We never stop striving to be a better version of that loving soul.
It is the lovers and the dreamers who save humanity from itself.
One thing we can do is give when it is accepted.
Teach when the questions are asked.
Be open to learn from our past so we can achieve in the future and most of all,
Stop accepting less than we deserve.
So often givers are most disappointed when our efforts are not appreciated.
Go out and find those who are shackled by the limitations that society has burdened them with.
Go out and give to those who have the potential to become givers.
Do not be discouraged by the takers.
The seed of giving was planted.
It is up to them to give it life and watch it grow.
Be like the dandelion.
Whose seeds always find a way.
If your efforts are rejected or unappreciated or what you have to teach is not accepted, then the gift that you have to give is not or was not for them.
You will find your way to the one or many that it is meant for.
There will always be people who squint when you shine.
But there will be many more who welcome that light.
Keep shining.
It is the very reason that you came here.
Do not worry about who you were when you were learning to be who you are now.
Just that self now. Know that who you are now is good. There will be people who really see you.
Understand that you are also deserving of love and let it in.
There is a reason why you have been led to a place of abundance.
It is to share with them, but it is also your reward for being you.
Jennifer Fallaw-Doering
And Jesus.
@Fallawsophy
