Safe place


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My safe place, your safe place, our safe place.
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You try to move, try to move, try, but you don't wanna lose
So afraid, so afraid, you don't want it to fade
Hear my voice, here it goes, hear it louder than most
Let it go, let it
It's not worth it, it's not working
You wanted it to be picture-perfect
It's not over
You don't have to throw it away




Maybe I'm actually the villain of your story


How the holidays will always hurt
I watch the fathers with their little girls
And wonder what I did to deserve this
How could you hurt a little kid?
I can't forget, I can't forgive you
'Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me
all that I did to try to undo it
All of my pain and all your excuses
I was a kid but I wasn't clueless
Someone who loves you wouldn't do this
All of my past, I tried to erase it
But now I see, would I even change it?


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People like you always want back what they can't have
But I'm past that and you know that
So you should turn back to your rat pack, tell 'em I'm trash

Tell all of your friends that I'm crazy and drive you mad
That I'm such a stalker, a watcher, a psychopath
Psychopathic, don't be so dramatic
We had magic, but you made it tragic
Now you're manic, honestly I've had it
Listen to yourself, think you need to get some help


Even my deepest scars are getting better, so maybe I can too


I know it can be hard, I know it hurts but it's the only truth you need to hear. You grow in loneliness.
Just when you think the world is ending and the situation can't be worse, you start to grow, you start to become mature, and believe me loneliness doesn't care about your age, it's an inseparable part of your life.
You will cry, you will start sobbing so hard and no one will be able to save you. You stab knives in yourself, but every scar needs time to heal.I know it's an unfair way to grow but this harsh truth is what you actually need to hear. So believe me, you will get better.




How could I go home when I feel like I belong?
In your arms it's like champagne
Feel it pouring in my veins
Yeah I got myself too drunk on you to drive
So I'm crashing here tonight


I just lost what I have never had
Reaching to the peak and then falling highly bad
Growing older everyday and still haven't found out
Sitting at a corner of my window as I shout
Talking to a God I don't believe in
And hoping for you to be okay at the begin
I lost what I have never had.


And we're all see through, just like glass
And we can shatter just as fast
That light's been burned out for a while, I still see it every time I pass
It was lost in the coldness of my mind, behind a box of reasons why
I never doubted it was there, just took a little time to find


It was night when I found out you're not with us anymore
And it was cold when I couldn't feel your  presence like before
I found myself shouting and begging you to come back
And from then my world started to turn all black
Here I am after a year still waiting for you
Wishing to the God to make my wish come true
I know I can't have you by my side like I had in the past
But I still hope to see you somewhere, until the time I last

- to see you




I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you I'm right here
I will stay by your side every night
I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love


I won't give up this time, not now, not here
I will go through it and try my hardest


"I don't have any safe place."
"Then make one."
There's still this question, "day or night?"
I will always choose night. After a tiring day, lots of pressure from school or work and lots of workouts at gym, I can turn the light off and finally be myself, after lots of pretending and fake smiles.
Turning on the flight mode and putting my headphone on. I missed you my dear songs. Now it's time for the neon lights. I grab my guitar and start playing, as if the notes could actually touch my heart, I feel something deep down inside. I grab my pen and start writing poems unstoppably. I watch as every written word flies and reaches the moon. My beloved moon that is visible from a corner of my window. I start to feel like I actually found my safe place, so I belong here.


Burning emotions, I can't hold this long
You're moving fast, but I want this slow
How can I trust? But you're the one I love
Give me your love, I can give you my all
You can make me down on your knees, doesn't matter
Kiss is what I need, no need another
How many times do you really think of me?
I'm just tryna get out this painful love, yeah




Today's summary: I woke up tearful and started crying, after an hour skating on ice I had a nice coffee and I had a chance to walk in the rain while listening to my favorite songs and eating ice cream. I'm happy I stayed for days like this and I wish you a perfect day too🩵

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