défaite existentiellе.

sorry for not posting for a long time, I was drinking green tea with mint and playing chess with one person.

сублимация и субординация, как похоже звучали эти два слова, и как часто они возникали в одном контексте внутри рваных размышлений

everyone knows that the root of envy is always comparison. it often arises when we see a person’s achievements or merits, and we value these achievements higher than our own.
It is often mistakenly believed that the prerequisite for this feeling, which, by the way, is one of the deadly sins in catholic theology, is low self-esteem. in fact, this is fundamentally not true. on the contrary, everything is facilitated by very high self-esteem.
a person believes in his potential, believes that he is worthy of what someone else has now. and more worthy than an object of envy.
it would be more correct to say that such people have a high level of ambition, with unstable self-esteem when a person’s opinion of himself very much depends on whether he is faced with success or failure. when success comes, he to some extent becomes inspired and believes in his own strength, but if success comes to someone else, a form of emotional breakdown occurs, the mood deteriorates in every possible way and self-esteem falls.
It often turns out that envy clouds a person’s eyes so much that he does not want to see those positive or, perhaps, negative qualities that helped him achieve certain successes.
Instead of recognizing the achievements of another, the envious person begins to look for shortcomings and imperfections, subjecting him to the most subtle, refined criticism.

неудавшийся кофе в четыре часа, мягкие лучи перебивающиеся сквозь пелену облаков и лениво обнимающие многоэтажные дома, столешница с чёрными кругами отпечатков от кружки, мятая рубашка, так и непрочитанная книга уместившаяся на краю постели

в прошлой вселенной я работаю

| барменом в джаз баре с зарплатой еле покрывающую мою двухкомнатную комнатушку, вместе с коммуналкой.
|| работаю тату мастером
||| занимаюсь спелеотуризмом

(почему не в этой? выбрал изучение гражданского кодекса)