If you are here now for someone else, just go because it won't last long, trust me. it feels strange but after all ourselves has the highest caste in our own life, we are the main character of our own life, right? So, live for yourself. stay alive for your brightest future. Do whatever it takes for yourself. if you thing it selfish, you are wrong. Something that you think is good by your own will bring others down. it must be called selfish and I justify that. but, look at your true self and find out what your true desires are, surely it will be the best version of life for you and people around you.