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Me:says something rude

Them:omg that was mean how do you sleep at night?

Me:

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Send message expressing my love in middle of the night because the person son't be awake
Person*typing*

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When she called u doodle bob instead of daddy

✤Join us✨️ @Funcology😂


Time to slay some dragons since i can't slay pussy

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When something bad happens to someone you dont like and you have to pretend youare sad but on the inside youare like:

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When the label says"warning"
My act:

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You VS the guy she tells you not to worry about in a sword fight yo the death.

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Iam gonna leak your nudes or memes?🥱

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I can't believe my invention didn't win the science fair.

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Whenever you are feeling like a moron just remember Kim Kardashian played poker with mirrored glasses

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My mom still hasn't noticed

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You don't always have to apologize for everything you're good.

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North koreans haven't gone to war in 60 years,but look at all the medals their generals are wearing,we could defeat them with magnet

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Whoa,you hit your head pretty hard,there Extinction?the internet? What are you talking about?come on let's go eat some tree stars

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When your plumbing bussiness goes under so you fake your death and change your name

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When the girl you hate even breathes

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