Uncle Dad's Express Self-Checkout Lane

Oskar was trudging around the prison yard, clutching his swollen belly. He was 9 months boipregnant, having been boifertilised in the boipussy by a hunky Mediterranean prison guard prior during a chance encounter in the showers. He suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in his boiterus and his hairy Polish arsehole gushed open unleashing a deluge of boimniotic fluid. "Begorrah-Kurwa! My boiwater's boibroken!" exclaimed Oskar, as Groz rushed over to shlurp up the liquor boimnii which he'd later regurgitate during one of his sinister midnight rituals to the Grinch. Oskar was carted off to the prison hospital, screaming in pain as the baby pushed its way through the boivix into the boiginal canal. His hips contorting to accomodate the mass of flesh currently being shat out, as jets of anal mucus and jism shot everywhere like the fountains at the Bellagio. The doctors and nurses stared on in horror as the stench of cigarettes, baklava and strong coffee suddenly hit their nostrils. "You must push, Oskar!" said the doctor."I can't! It's extremely painful, this baby is a big guy!""Oskar, you must try harder! Try harder than you tried to get laid with Portia", encouraged the midboiwife. Oskar's rosebud further opened up revealing its beautiful colonic petals as what looked like a log of shit started to slide its way out. The brown mass plopped out, caught by the nurse. "Oh it's not a turd, it's a Greek baby!"Oskar roared in anger, "GRE WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING IN MY BOITERUS FOR 9 MONTHS? WHERE'S MY PRISON BUTTBABY?""I am sorry, my friend. After being birthed by Hyper's girlfriend, I am become the addict to the birthing" replied Gre, "Ehhh what's up Doc?" nibbling on Oskar's boiplacenta like Bug's Bunny on a carrot."Suddenly the British government burst through the door and shot Gre in the head, because the British government loves to kill babies. Gre's post-birth aborted carcass was then chucked in an incinerator used to heat the hospital.