it's second of jan, i feel lonely again, no amount of gin, rum or whiskey could help me gulp down the fact that i've felt alone for the majority of my life. ngl, i broke 'y' more than i should have, or honestly i shouldnt have at all. i was afraid i am always afraid of people leaving that its crazy. so i often leave them before they can, atleast i spoke the truth. i've unnecessarily given a lot of time to love whereas i shouldnt have, this will be the year i focus on lasting friendships and platinic love, i'm not ready for relationships, i'm very much emotionally stunted.