Mavka/Marjona

Funny, my childhood was briliant and it was truly mine, nothing stole it. However, my last teen years are suffering at the expense of it. I would rather the reverse to get in my dream college.
And not even think about gap year stuff.

#just_mynature
Whenever I am bored or tired, my philosophical knowledge surges and I come up with several thought-provoking questions

The same case at my school, I felt pity for my classmate who has been scolded by national guard for her hair and clothes, however, I felt pride after she got her second national certificate from mother-tongue proving herself as a must-be admitted student for national universities.

I dont like to impress someone by something( elegant things, my knowledge).
I love being quiet while I am around people. I only feel okay during communicating on social media, only when it is not a stranger. I dont like being in the spotlight of people with wearing light colors or smth attractive. Maybe, this may change later in life, but my all time favourite color is black. I lose or confuse my words while having a pop-up conversation with people i didnt spend years with.

I dont like showing my knowledge. I have sent u guys that i got 4 out of 5 in english for the first term. The reason for low score in english was i had to speak in front of my classmates. It would be okay if they didnt stare me like they were inpatiently waiting for my speech as all knew i am good at this. I felt weird and I refused to speak in front of them, but my teacher insisted and I just submitted my presentation paper without speech. However, I know she did unfairness since- although she forced me to give a presentation to all students, she didnt do the same for others who she knew they couldnt talk. But I didnt say anything, didnt disrespect her, I just said "' it is okay, Marjon, ur gpa was already a garbage'" and respectfully translated the passages she assigned.

Even though I am doing my best to be sociable, I cant ask my questions related to application from people. I cant start small talks, I feel uncomfortable when people are looking or waiting for my response. I can be a friend, but refuse sharing my thoughts with friends. I try to help and care about people, but I get the reverse all the time. People dont appreciate kindness if they dont understand its little yet significant value in their life. I dont like sharing anything, but have an ear to listen. Even though I know, I will be left barren and forgotten after all. I know I help them to know, be happy or be motivated to reach their dreams.

I dont like a change, but the life of mine or goals of mine require me to change all the time. If somebody told me I would be applying abroad in february 2024, I would not believe it. Once a teacher(Mahbuba) came to teach speaking for a month and motivated us to get ielts fast and apply each program we see, my coursemates and I said "we wont go abroad, why do we need it"( after the class in discussion). The realization of her briliant advice took long enough, nevertheless, it is now my companion now. I cant be less gratefull for her to sparkle another dream for me in 2025. Maybe, I wont get in my dream college this year or maybe I do. I can do it next year, if my family allows or i will just study in tashkent, do master's abroad. At the end, everything works out well, at least no regrets.

If u have any advice about how to be sociable, leave it in the comments. I really need this🙏
I cant forget when I first used public transport, I was so shy to ask the driver to stop. Then, I had to leave the public transport at another station when a woman asked to drop her by, and went back on foot to my station🤣😂😂😂.

I am always by the side of girls, if u need any help or any question or any guidance towards ur dreams. I am ur backbone💗

Just chase ur dreams✨

It is right, why nobody told me this when i was 9 years old. I would start learning english then take ielts at the age of 12, then take sat 1500+ at 14. After all these, i would purely focus on my gpa and extracurriculars. Then retake all these exam at 10 grade, work on my essays. Be totally ready for admissions

If u knew u had to do so much stuff when u were 9 yo, If somebody told u, if somebody helped u, U might have been celebrating ur scholarships now😇

Allah loves me a lot❤️, thankfully, he always proves this thought in my mind right🫠

I am having dinner of y-y😂 today

I made one of my goals trueeeeee

Me: this time, i wont tell anyone about my upcoming exams, never in my channel!

Also me: hi, u have an exam?
Me, too?😅😂

What a good mood do i have😁

I am feeling awkward🫥, after i laughed in a serious situation, remembering the oddest/funniest moment in my life😂

Now my lips are twisted and trying so hard lest to laugh😂