* A goat might bite you in the ass, but he won't fuck you.
* Fuck Y2K.
* Goats don't ever ask stupid questions.
* Goats don't drive technology dollars away from your automobile lusts.
* If a goat takes a "dump" in the middle of the night, you take care of it when you damn well feel like it.
* Nobody will fire you for connecting "diskless goats" into a "goat server" when they think you should have purchased a massive mainframe goat to connect to a multitude of inexpensive "dumb goats".
* ISO is not publishing any standards about how you should be farming your goats.
* Counting from zero instead of one, doesn't apply to anything goat farmers do and looks stupid. Hexadecimal is unheard of.
* When you sell a goat, you don't need to export it to a format that will be understood by the buyer's ancient goat-reading software.
* All your stuff will still work when you buy your 100th goat, and your 256th goat, and your 65,536th goat...
* People don't walk up to goat farmers at parties and whine about how they just got a French Alpine and don't know how to milk it.
* Nobody can go through your goat and get you in trouble for what they find in there.
* You don't have to administer a "user acceptance test" when you deliver goat cheese.
* You don't need any special utilities to delete a goat that is not empty.
* You don't need or want goats on your desktop, or shortcuts to goats on your desktop. Most goat farmers don't have desktops.
* Nothing a goat farmer does requires a mouse. If you have mice you get a cat.
* Goat farmer error messages: Goat not found; Goat dead; Goat not awake; Too soon after last milking; Billy goat detected. That's about all. You don't need silly numbers for these, and you don't need to look them up anywhere or check them out at goat.com.
* There are no read-only oats. There are no hidden or system goats.
* You don't need to mail anyone a core dump from a goat to fix a problem. The only time you would do this is to CAUSE a problem.
* A goat that doesn't know what time it is will work just fine.
* A goat that is not Y2K compliant will simply think it's not Y2K. This is doesn't even require documentation.
* If your spouse doesn't authorize the purchase of a new goat, you simply encourage your goats to make one from existing parts.
* A goat doesn't have enough fingers to press <shift><Shift><Ctrl><Alt><Esc>
* Goats don't argue about it being another goats problem. They just kick each others ass.
* If a goat had to document every time it took a shit, we would be out of forests.
* Goats don't give a shit about email.
* The only way a goat can deliver an 'application' is through it's ass.
* Goats can't get there benefits revoked they are just made into goat steaks for dinner.
* A goat farmer doesn't have to provide documentation on his goat's ablility to produce milk after the year 2000.
* GoatEng.
* Macintosh goat users will not make fun of you because your goat is more problematic & complicated than the goat they just bought.
* Goat farmers who voted for Perot have pretty much the same type of goat as everyone else, so they can go back to arguing about politics like they were doing before 1984.
* Fuck Y2K.
* Goats don't ever ask stupid questions.
* Goats don't drive technology dollars away from your automobile lusts.
* If a goat takes a "dump" in the middle of the night, you take care of it when you damn well feel like it.
* Nobody will fire you for connecting "diskless goats" into a "goat server" when they think you should have purchased a massive mainframe goat to connect to a multitude of inexpensive "dumb goats".
* ISO is not publishing any standards about how you should be farming your goats.
* Counting from zero instead of one, doesn't apply to anything goat farmers do and looks stupid. Hexadecimal is unheard of.
* When you sell a goat, you don't need to export it to a format that will be understood by the buyer's ancient goat-reading software.
* All your stuff will still work when you buy your 100th goat, and your 256th goat, and your 65,536th goat...
* People don't walk up to goat farmers at parties and whine about how they just got a French Alpine and don't know how to milk it.
* Nobody can go through your goat and get you in trouble for what they find in there.
* You don't have to administer a "user acceptance test" when you deliver goat cheese.
* You don't need any special utilities to delete a goat that is not empty.
* You don't need or want goats on your desktop, or shortcuts to goats on your desktop. Most goat farmers don't have desktops.
* Nothing a goat farmer does requires a mouse. If you have mice you get a cat.
* Goat farmer error messages: Goat not found; Goat dead; Goat not awake; Too soon after last milking; Billy goat detected. That's about all. You don't need silly numbers for these, and you don't need to look them up anywhere or check them out at goat.com.
* There are no read-only oats. There are no hidden or system goats.
* You don't need to mail anyone a core dump from a goat to fix a problem. The only time you would do this is to CAUSE a problem.
* A goat that doesn't know what time it is will work just fine.
* A goat that is not Y2K compliant will simply think it's not Y2K. This is doesn't even require documentation.
* If your spouse doesn't authorize the purchase of a new goat, you simply encourage your goats to make one from existing parts.
* A goat doesn't have enough fingers to press <shift><Shift><Ctrl><Alt><Esc>
* Goats don't argue about it being another goats problem. They just kick each others ass.
* If a goat had to document every time it took a shit, we would be out of forests.
* Goats don't give a shit about email.
* The only way a goat can deliver an 'application' is through it's ass.
* Goats can't get there benefits revoked they are just made into goat steaks for dinner.
* A goat farmer doesn't have to provide documentation on his goat's ablility to produce milk after the year 2000.
* GoatEng.
* Macintosh goat users will not make fun of you because your goat is more problematic & complicated than the goat they just bought.
* Goat farmers who voted for Perot have pretty much the same type of goat as everyone else, so they can go back to arguing about politics like they were doing before 1984.