SEATTLE RETARDVILLE DAILY UPDATE
Skip to “EDIT” if you’ve been following along
•Seattle antifa has claimed 6 blocks of downtown Seattle, including a police station, as their own “free land”, completely seceded from America.
•They are using fascist America’s power and water but one step at a time I guess
•Reports from inside the zone indicate they are trying to intimidate businesses who don’t want to play Super Fun Pretend Time into giving them resources
•A local thug named “Raz” has moved in with heavily armed friends, providing Minneapolis isn’t the only city that can go full Somolian warlord
•Within 24 hours the transexual leading the operation has announced on twitter that he will quit and also kill himself
•Doesn’t do either of those things
•Despite claims of fending off hoards of right-wing besiegers (no one has been caught on camera even giving a shit), the transexual now reports they have been stripped bare of supplies by the homeless and put out an honest-to-God request for imitation meat products and soy
DAILY UPDATE EDIT - NEW DEVELOPMENTS START HERE
•They have a massive list of demands, including new criminal trials for literally everyone who isn’t white that’s been found guilty of a crime
•Antifa walls built: 1.
Trump: 0
•They actually have border checkpoints
•Two stage areas have been set aside as critical infrastructure. Confusion has set in at the constant grievance airing events - crowds unable to decide speaker importance based on who’s the most crippled minority lesbian of color, etc.
•City services have moved in free portajohns. This wasn’t on the list of demands but the city of Seattle officially decided giving anarchists 6 downtown blocks and a police station was not enough.
•THE PRESIDENT HAS NOTICED
OCHS REPORT STAFF WILL BE WORKING AROUND THE CLOCK TO KEEP YOU INFORMED OF ALL HILARIOUS UPDATES
