What do we feel when we’re sad?
Something stumbles in the heart…
A needle, stabbed deep inside.
Goosebumps rise, the body runs too hot.
Uncomfortable. Unworthy.
Questioning existence.
That’s what I feel.
Listening to Amy, Adele on shuffle,
CAS on repeat.
That’s what I feel.
That’s what I feel like doing
Listening to sad songs.
Not to sink deeper,
But to feel a little less alone.
I wish they understood.
It’s not the dinner,
The coffee, the walk,
The movie I want when I say I want.
All I want is a friend to talk to.
To laugh with,
To connect,
To feel like I belong.
I say it’s fine,
But it’s not.
If it was,
I wouldn’t have goosebumps,
Wouldn’t feel the air tighten,
Wouldn’t ache inside.
You’d probably say I’m exaggerating.
Let me.
It’s all I have left to hold onto.
This ache, this voice,
It’s what’s worthy for now.
I’ll get used to it. I’ll find it.
When, how… I don’t know.
But that’s okay.
A few nights,
A few weeks,
A few months.
Empty ceilings, cold ocean shores,
CAS, Adele, and Amy.
written by @saidamir_writes