🔥RELAPSE LOG by @Arkoreki ⭐️
"I was
bo
red of studying and somehow search NSFW content."
Date and Time: 25/01/2023 05:00 PM
Place: My bed
Extern
al Context:
I was at my home whole day, as always. None was at home except me, my mum and grandma. Yesternight I planned that I'll study with productivity, I was planning to revise maths and physics, but I wasn't being productive from very morning. Then I searched for some wallpapers and some. Also, whenever at home there's only mum and grandma, I have a very high chance of relapsing. That's the same when I'm alone all by myself. Continuing the above thing, while searching for.wallpapers and some, I also searched things like bbs wallpaper, hot girls etc. I got urges and then fired my browser, searched porn, then that's that. I did the worst possible thing.
Internal Context: I feeling nothing, I've got no regret nothing, the thing is I'm currently reading BTQP, and it said "you can PMO while reading the book." And this statement made do what I did.
The moment after relapsing, I just thought "here, I did this again, even tho I was doing dopamine detox, I still did it.
Dopamine Score: ★★★★☆ 7,5 / 10
🟢 Food: 4
🟢 Shopping: 5
🟢 Drugs/Stimulants: 5
🟡 Videogames/Social Media: 3
🟢 Fictions/News/Information: 4
🟠 Adult/Erotic/NSFW: 2
🟢 Music: 5Triggers:1. I was bored of studying, so bored that I used my phone.
2. Being alone was a major part that made me got urges.
3. Having access of my mobile, and that too was on my study table.
Solutions:1. I'll turn on the digital detox app, so I could not access my phone. This is the only thing that holds me back.
2. I'll take break, and will go up on the roof, whenever I felt too bored to study.
3. After going up, I'll think that why I should study and some.
Action:I'm gonna study, prolly till 2 am or maybe 3? If I felt sleepy, I'll just sleep so that I could wake up in morning.
The reason(s) to quit PMO:1. I want to be a better self.
2. I don't wanna be slave anymore.
3. I want to have full control over my life.
4. I don't want to see girls and fantasize them or some.
5. I find porn disgusting.
6. It's fucking up my brain and dopamine system, also setting unreal standards about sex.
His Goals:First thing is I want to go in a good college and pursue my fav subject.
And I want to enjoy my life a lot, like a LOT.
✅
Responsibility ❌
Honesty✅
CommitmentGratitude:I'm grateful that I've got a brother that think best for me.
I'm also grateful that I've this opportunity and resources to get a better life i.e. getting into college first.
I'm grateful that despite being not so understandable parents they still believe in me that I'll break this chain of our family being middle class.
🟢
He felt 8/10 after writing this log ★★★★★★★★☆☆
He commented: "Nah it's fine."⭐️
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